peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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