Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
You are the jesus of drinking
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
