omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Green mimosas i think yes
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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