So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
