Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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