You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
