I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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