Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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