And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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