i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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