I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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