Hey man sorry I got all grabby
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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