Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
