ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
