he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
