Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
