Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
