stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize