This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Randomize
