I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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