shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
