is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
