Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
