sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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