somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
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