I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
