smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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