I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Randomize
