Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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