That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
