i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
