As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
