you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
