On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
