We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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