I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
