Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
