Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
