There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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