So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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