haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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