He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
