ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
