He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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