i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize