Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
