My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
