Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
