me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Randomize
