The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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