After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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