You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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