i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
They have beer where we have blood.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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