hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
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