belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
