Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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