his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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