But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize