The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Sober January is a disaster.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
