the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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